2. Intimate Language
We build a personal language that stabilizes our world, that makes this dream lucid. So many shared experiences, and yet only fragments of our intentions fit into such limited words. We only generate sounds despite everything, and they feel so different in each body that every listening varies its impact. I understand the need for control, for structure because of the fear of the abstract, the nightmare of uncertainty, but even if there are those who desperately strive to define their meanings in dusty dictionaries, no one will be able to make the difference in their songs, the difference in their sympathy, the dissonance in their abuses disappear, without even talking about accents and dialects. Words are nothing more than empty bowls that we fill with impulses, tools we believe to be objective and yet we fill with changing states, soft or sharp, hurt or loving.
It is dramatic to observe how so often we identify with these words and confuse them with what gives them life, we defend them amid noise and conflict blinds us; so often we believe that to communicate is to con-vince, and meanwhile, in the silence, between the inflections of a phrase, we suspect the intention that threateningly observed from above those words, victims of their ordeal. How many times have I understood you with a simple babble.
A state of availability and acceptance towards everything an emotional cry hides is what we expected from those around us, a support capable of seeing us behind those phrases that clumsily tore apart so many words. Songs of hatred in arrogant pronunciations, desperate gestures hidden in insecure phrases, so many oversights that made piles of words into devastated landscapes where only memories drowned in the depths of misunderstandings survive.
Having to survive and grow in these landscapes implies, from our earliest childhood, the need to fight to make ourselves understood, a desperate gesture of disobedience that allows for autonomy, the innate right of every human being to introduce their most sincere inner world into the real word.
Learning to speak could therefore mean allowing ourselves to create our own language, developing our capacity to describe a changing point of view, a subjectivity capable of naming our inner world (auto-nomy), to bear witness to our difference, thus enriching the living language.
2. Intimate Language